faith

GRACE: God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.

I’ve also heard grace explained to me in an analogy about a courtroom.

Imagine a criminal who has committed a crime, punishable by death. Justice (getting what is deserved): The criminal is sentenced to death. Mercy (not getting what is deserved): The criminal is spared the death penalty but remains in jail. Grace (getting what is not deserved): The criminal is spared the death penalty and does not have to serve any jail time.

Grace is incredible. Really, it’s amazing. It’s also tough to fully understand. 

“For by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God - not by works, so that no one can boast.” -Ephesians 2:8-9

God grants us the gift of salvation. I cannot earn it or work for it in any way. I don’t deserve it. I am sinful and it is easy for me to recognize that I don’t deserve it. It’s also a relief that I can’t earn grace, because I know my works would never be good enough.

But I think that grace is so hard for me to grasp because I think about it in human terms, if that makes sense. Let me try to explain myself. I have friends and family members who I love. But I am not able to love them in a perfect, unconditional way like Christ does. And sometimes I think about God as if He is like me. I know that He loves me, but it’s hard to imagine that there is someone who loves me no matter what and who doesn’t love me any less when I sin. He does not like sin, but when He looks at me, He sees me as pure because of Jesus’ cleansing blood. His grace is a gift to me because of His love for me.

I think I’m rambling… I know what I’m trying to say, but it’s not all coming together in the right way. Haha. There’s just so much that I have yet to learn about grace. 

I have to remember that His grace is SO powerful. I can do nothing to add to what He has done. If I think that His grace isn’t good enough, I am saying that Christ died on the cross for nothing (Galatians 2). Grace would not be grace if it was based on works (Romans 11).

His grace is sufficient.

I am supposed to be here. And by here, I mean home. I realize that sounds obvious and is something I should have been saying with confidence for 8 weeks now. But I am finally believing with my heart, not just my head, that this was God’s plan for me. God is revealing this to me through many things, most of which are people. The first one being my best friend, Marisa.

Marisa is an incredible friend. I know that everyone says that about their best friend, but I mean that with my whole heart. She is a great listener; very attentive and interested in what I have to say. She has a huge heart and is extremely caring and thoughtful in everything she says to me and does for me. She is beautiful and talented and athletic and intelligent. Honestly, I could go on all day about her. The best thing about Marisa is her love for Christ and her passion to know Him and grow in Him. She has a great perspective on life because of her understanding of the cross and what Jesus has done for us and how we should live because of it. We both learned a lot in college. And she has been helping me through a lot this summer by teaching me some of the things she learned, one of which is to be content where you are. We are to live in the now and glorify Christ in everything we do, in every moment. Wishing you were somewhere else or doing something else will only make you miserable. And living for tomorrow or a moment in the future will not allow you to truly live for Christ. To be content means to not wish for anything more than what you have; to be satisfied (yes, I googled the definition). I hope to continue being content in order to give God the most glory.

We’ve also talked a lot about John Piper’s quote, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” How cool is that?! We will be most satisfied when we give Him the glory. Sounds easy, right? Why wouldn’t we want to do whatever it takes to be satisfied? Well, it’s not that simple when it seems easier to look to the world and its desires for satisfaction. I have been learning a lot about idols in College Bible Study (CBS). We’re going through Tim Keller’s book Counterfeit Gods which takes a look a the different manifestations of idols in our society today. An idol is anything that we make more important than God; an object or idea that we feel we would be lost without. It is “anything you seek to give you what only God can give.” It is something that becomes our “ultimate thing.”

We normally make idols out of things that are, for the most part, good. Relationships aren’t bad. Money isn’t bad. Being successful isn’t bad. Those things become an idol when they are what you find your sense of security and purpose in, when they become more important than God. C.S. Lewis says, “Most people…want something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.” No person or thing can provide us with all of our needs. Only God can. When we ask someone or something to do that, we are asking them to be our god. They cannot and will not live up to that longing of ours and will, therefore, disappoint us. We need to look to Jesus to redeem us and nothing else.

In Keller’s 4th chapter of Counterfeit Gods, titled “The Seduction of Success,” he stresses the fact that there is nothing we can bring to God to make Him love us more or love us more than anyone else. We have to admit that we are weak and helpless without Him. “If you want God’s grace, all you need is need, all you need is nothing.” We do not receive salvation because we come to God in strength. We come to Him in our brokeness, realizing we have nothing, we are nothing without Him. That is really humbling. “But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of the world and the despised things - and the things that are not - to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before Him.” -1 Corinthians 1:27-29.

If I make Him my ultimate thing, I will find satisfaction. He will fulfill me and not let me down. I will not look to things of this world if I realize what He has done for me and the depth of His love. That sounds so easy, but sometimes it’s really hard! If only I could just look to Him at all times for comfort and security and approval and a sense of self-worth. I want to work on actively seeking Christ in everything I do. I cannot do that without Him. “I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.” -Psalm 119:10

I do believe in being content with where I am and worrying about today and trying not to focus too much on the future, buuuut I really love countdowns. So here it goes…

In…

2 days: Sleepover w/ middle school girls

5 days: Fourth of July

2 weeks & 1 day: Jessica’s Birthday & HARRY POTTER 7 PART 2

2 weeks and 2 days: Miranda Lambert Concert (possibly)

2 weeks & 5 days: Family vacation to Maine

3 weeks & 6 days: Goo-Goo Dolls Concert

4 weeks & 2 days: Katie & Wilson’s Reception

4 weeks & 3 days: Katie & Wilson’s Wedding

That’s it for now. That takes me to the end of July. :)

So I’ve been home for five and half weeks. The first month was SLOW. Honestly, I was bored. But it’s picking up now and I can’t believe we’re halfway through the month of June.

I love my job. My parents have always told me to try my best to find a job that I really love, because it’s not fun to not be excited about what you do. There is something so incredible about spending time with kids. They have a way of sharing a fresh perspective on life with you. I’m not saying these kids have awesome lives and don’t experience pain or go through suffering. Not at all. If anything, they are having to deal with more challenging issues than ever before because of the way our society works. But they surprise me in many ways. For example: Their reactions toward one another. Girls walk into Sunday School and their friends scream at the top of their lungs and rush to them in excitement, pulling them close in a crushing hug as they begin to update each other on their lives. How long has it been since they’ve seen each other? One week, tops. Yet their Sunday morning reunions never change. I love their reckless, uncontrolled, impulsive emotion that they are not afraid to show, even if everyone sees it. They think, ‘Who cares if someone thinks I’m weird? I love this person and I want her to know it! I want everyone to know it!’ Isn’t that a small picture of how we should view Jesus? Being willing to run to Him and delight in Him and love Him with reckless abandon, no matter who is watching. And not just tell Him how much we love Him, but tell others how much we love Him. Maybe that’s horrible analogy, but it works for me.

In my job, I focus mainly on kids who are in middle school. And let me tell you, I hated middle school. I couldn’t wait to get out. I struggled a lot with my faith during those years. I went through large periods of doubt where I would wonder if God was there for me, or if He even existed at all. I did not share my faith with others for fear of being mocked and shunned by the majority of my classmates. I am beginning to realize that most kids just want someone to listen to them and love them. They want someone to hear what they’re going through and recognize that their problems are real. They want to know that they matter even though they’re young. And they’re definitely searching when it comes to Christ. I hope I can be a stepping stone on their path to find Him.

I think God is strengthening my love for kids through this job. I have wanted to be a teacher for about 5 years now. God has started to open my eyes to some of the difficulties that are present in working with children. And it makes me want to work with them even more. Love isn’t easy, especially when you’re trying to love like Christ. I know I can’t love these kids perfectly, which can be a challenge because I want to love them perfectly, but I can show them Christ’s love which is perfect.

I feel like I’m rambling and everything is running together, but I just have a lot on my mind and I’m trying to get a bunch of it out. I know my writing isn’t eloquent, but it’s real.

I love that Jesus is making me love kids more.

God is so good. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28. I am starting to learn that He is good even when He does things that I don’t see as being “good.” Take this summer for example. A month ago I would have said that as much as I love home and the people here, I wanted to be somewhere else. I thought that God had a different plan for me and so when He took me down a different path, I became angry. I felt called to do something else and He didn’t let me do it. But guess what? That was His plan all along. It’s always Plan A with God. It’s not like there was an original plan and then something happened that was off His radar so He had to resort to Plan B. “Oh whoops! Sorry Rachel, I forgot about you!” No, no, no. Whatever happens was always supposed to happen. He is sovereign which means that He has supreme/ultimate power. What a relief! Thank goodness He has it under control, because I could not and cannot do it on my own.

There is so much more that I could write about, but I’ve already written a short novel that most people will not take the time to read. I also don’t think I made very much sense since everything was just thrown together and was typed out as I thought it.

I am so thankful for what God is doing in my life right now.

“Let me live that I may praise you…” -Psalm 119:175

You betta represent JESUS & ECU well up there in CHI-TOWN :) Love you. MISS YOU.

I’m jealousjealousjealousjealousjealous (trying to be) content with where I am.